


Pleasure

by spacegaylien



Category: McDonaldland, Original Work, Rick Astley (Musician), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: A notch in the McBedpost, ACAB, Accurate Female Anatomy, Accurate Human Anatomy, Awarded Title of Best Worst and Most Cursed Erotic Fiction by Three of My Girlfriend's Friends, Body Pillows, Catgirls, Crack, F/F, F/M, Hell, Heterosexual Birds, Incest, Landlords Can Eat Shit, Lots of Sex, M/M, MILFs, Many Orgasms, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other, Porn With Plot, True Love, Vore, Which is an Extremely Prestigious Award, sex ritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29644266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegaylien/pseuds/spacegaylien
Summary: You know you want a taste.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Satan, Ronald McDonald/Original Female Character, Ronald McDonald/Rick Astley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the tags, this fic was awarded "Best Worst and Most Cursed Erotic Fiction" by three people you don't know, making me the proud owner of every marble in nonexistence. One of them voted for the other entry, but she's objectively wrong and also dead to me.
> 
> Anyway, here's some of what they had to say:
> 
> "The detail was unrelentingly beautiful and humor perused at every twist and turn."
> 
> "Your piece engaged me with its multiple plot lines and excruciating detail."
> 
> "I have to retract my statement. If I didn't need therapy before I certainly do now."
> 
> "My boner was unrelenting."
> 
> So you should definitely read it.

The man gaped at the goddess standing in front of him, long strands of glistening drool dripping out of his mouth and running down his face, smudging his makeup.

A plunging neckline exposed her massive titties. They hung heavy down to her hips, like she had two 20 pound sacks of potatoes strapped to her narrow shoulders. She wasn’t wearing a bra; her erect nips showed through the fabric, the length and width of persian cucumbers. He could see her fat ass billowing out behind her, like she was packing a couple of bean bag chairs under her dress. The slit in her dress revealed a plump and delicious thigh. He licked his lips. 

Despite her magnificent curves, her tummy was tight and flat as a board and her arms were as narrow as toothpicks.

The woman’s smokin’ body caused the man’s nerves to send chemical messages to the blood vessels in his penis. The arteries relaxed and opened up to allow more blood to flow in, while at the same time, the veins closed up. His penis expanded to it’s full modest, but very thick, eleven inches. He quietly moaned in pleasure.

He approached the woman of his dreams. 

“DAAAAAAMMMMNNNNN GURL, If you were Asian, I’d need a map so I could rearrange the alphabet to make you fall from heaven.”

He winked at her and she blushed, charmed by his smooth pickup line.

“Why, hewwo, nyaaaa. I wasn’t expecting to meet a handsome man wike you at the ewementary school pwaygwound, but I’m so gwad I did, UwU.”

The man met her bright gaze. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, m’lady.”

“And you as well, nyaaa” she replied.

The two of them felt the spark of true love as they gazed into each other’s eyes..

“What’s your name?” the man asked, feeling very aroused as his juicy dong rubbed against his silk thong.

“Oh, how vewwwwwwy rude of me, nya. I’m Catalie Meowmerson. And you?”

“I’m Ronald McDonald,” the man said, ‘But you can call me Daddy.”

“Oh gosh, I’ve got to go bury this body, nyan, but I’ll give you my number, UwU.” She scrawled her number on a sticky note she pulled from the burlap sack she carried, and slipped it into the pocket of Ronald’s bright yellow jumpsuit before turning away.

“Call me water, okay?” she called over her shoulder.

“You got it,” he said.

Ronald massaged his Johnson, admiring the woman’s succulent ass as she trotted off into the forest, dragging the mangled corpse of an old man behind her.

_ What a woman _ , he thought to himself before spurting a gallon of jizz into the crotch of his jumpsuit. 


	2. Chapter 2

Ronald strolled home under the glimmering nighttime stars, shivering as his hot cum seeped through his jumpsuit, dripping onto the sidewalk and down his legs. He left a trail of his semen behind him as he walked, not unlike a snail. He inserted his hand into his soft jumpsuit pocket to make sure Catalie’s phone number was still in there. It was. 

As soon as he got back to his apartment, Ronald plopped down on his bed and quickly entered Catalie’s number in his contacts. He’d call her next morning to set up a date. He was totally finna smash. Then he heard a voice from behind him.

“Who’s Catalie?” it asked accusingly.

“Rick Astley-kun!” Ronald yelped. He had completely forgotten about his beloved husbando! He turned towards the beautiful body pillow and gulped as he saw the furious expression on Rick Astley-kun’s face.

“Oh, Ricky,” said Ronald, “It’s not what you think. I swear!” Rick Astley-kun’s eyes burned redder than his hair. 

“Oh yeah?” he screamed, “OH YEAH?”

One single, manly tear escaped Ronald’s watery eyes. He couldn’t bear to see his husbando like this, but at the same time… 

“Rick Astley-kun, I’m sorry,” he said, “but I fell in love with this woman the moment I set eyes on her sublime knockers.”

“WELL YO MAMA IS FAT!” Rick Astley-kun screamed. “AND YOU’RE A LITTLE BITCH BOY WITH A SMALL PENIS!”

“NO U!” shouted Ronald, and Rick Astley-kun erupted in tears.

“I just don’t want you to leave me,” he bawled, “I’ve been in love with you since you ordered me from that custom body pillow website 3 years ago.”

“Oh, Rick Astley-kun…” Ronald said, looking at the man’s tear stained face. “I love you so much it hurts.” He scraped a spot of dried cum off of Ricky’s chest. “I could never love anyone more than I love you, but I could still love someone else just as much.” 

“Okay,” Rick Astley-kun whispered. “Will you please hold me?” he meekly asked. 

Ronald McDonald laid down and held Rick Astley-kun in his arms. He softly caressed his beautiful face. Looking at his husbando, Ronald’s slightly above average penis once again became engorged with blood. His painfully hard cock pressed against Rick Astley-kun’s cushy stomach. He couldn’t resist thrusting against him a few times, groaning in pleasure.

“FUCK ME, DADDY!” Rick Astley-kun cried, aroused from the motion of Ronald’s fat cock against his abdomen. His lusty eyes scanned Ronald’s spicy hot bod in that sexy yellow jumpsuit with the white and red striped sleeves and yellow gloves. His rich, curly mop of hair, his white face and bright red nose and lipstick, his scrumptious manhood fully hard under the jumpsuit. He groaned thinking about it.

Ronald flipped Rick Astley-kun onto his stomach and removed this clothing, revealing his pale, pasty body. His pale pink nipples stood erect. The tiny buds were nothing compared to Catalie’s, but they still looked good on his scrawny pecs. 

He plunged into Ricky Astley-kun’s hole with no lube and no condom. 

“Ooooooooooooooo, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Rick Astley-kun screamed in ecstasy as his ass was filled up by Ronald’s fat, juicy, delicious penis. Ronald started moving, and with each thrust, his testicles, each the size of a small cantaloupe, slammed into Rick Astley-kun’s room-temperature rear end. 

“Ah yeah, that’s it.” Ronald grunted and groaned as he plowed into Rick Astley-kun. 

“OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, DAAAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” 

And with that, Ronald came buckets. His thick, creamy milk erupted from his urethra, drenching Rick Astley-kun in his viscous fluid. 

“Oh yeah, Rick Astley-kun. You’re so hawt.”

“Please,” Rick Astley-kun panted. “Call me Big Dick Ricky-kun.”

“You got it,” Ronald said, jumping up to hit the woah. Big Dick Ricky-kun smiled contentedly and proceeded to pass out.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” Ronald McDonald laughed maniacally.

“GOTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE!” He scooped Big Dick Ricky-kun up and THREW HIM IN THE TRASH. Then he took the trash can outside and set that shit on fire.

“Get wrecked, you scrub!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I’VE BEEN SET ON FIRE!” Big Dick Ricky-kun wailed and was burned to a crisp.

Ronald scooped his remains out of the garbage can and chowed down on those tasty ashes. Yummy.

The body pillow had been getting annoying lately. And Ronald didn’t need him anymore now that he had Catalie. Ronald slept deeply that night, dreaming that he had become a very small dill pickle. He did a tap dance with some mice for a cheering audience, donning a tophat and cane. Then the mice ate him.

It was a good dream.


	3. Chapter 3

It was noon the next day. Ronald McDonald clutched his phone, waiting for Catalie to pick up. God, how he wanted to hear her beautiful voice.

“UwU, who’s this?” It was her. Ronald’s heart did the dab. 

“It’s Ronald,” he said.

“Ronald, nyaaaaa! I’ve been waiting to heaw fwom you, uwu.” Ronald thought about his dream girl on the other end, phone held up to her dainty ear, shiny blonde locks tossed over her shoulders, happy to talk to him.

“So,” he said. “When can I see you?”

“Well,” Catalie began, “My fwiend just gave me this bottlwe of Meowntain Dew, and I can’t dwink it awl by mysewlf, nya.” She paused, then continued, voice becoming husky. “Could you cum ovew and hewlp me with it tonight?”

Ronald instantly became erect.

“Mmmmmmmmmm, yeah, I’ll be there,” he said. “What time?”

“How about six sixty nine, nya?” 

“Perfect,” Ronald said, a grin spreading across his face. “Just send me your address and I’ll be there.” 

“YIPPEE!” Ronald squealed as soon as Catalie had hung up, leaping into the air and clapping his feet together, cock expelling a fountain of cum, which seemed to defy gravity as it spurted out through the cloth of his pajama pants and hit the ceiling. 

Four minutes and twenty seconds later, Ronald heard a knock on his door. He skipped across the living room to answer it, still beaming from ear to ear. His upstairs neighbor, Sam took in his joyous mood, and his slick, wet crotch.

“Uh… What’s going on in here?” they asked.

“Oh, nothing,” said Ronald, waving his hand in the air. “I just came on the ceiling after getting a hot date with a sexy lady.”

“Oh, that’s cool then,” said Sam, “Good luck with your date.” And they waddled away ( _ waddle, waddle _ ). Yes, they waddled away ( _ waddle, waddle, waddle _ ). 

The following week, Sam would die of an overconsumption of lemonade.


	4. Chapter 4

Ronald tore through his closet looking for something to wear to his date with Catalie. Something that would make him look cool, but also like he wasn’t trying. Something sexy, but in a casual way. Something tasteful that would also show off his smokin’ bod. 

He settled on a yellow jumpsuit with a white collar atop a red and white striped shirt and leggings. A red circle with a yellow M inside of it was positioned over his left man boobie. A red strip of fabric went down the center of his chest all the way to his pelvis. There were also red strips of fabric marking the top of his pockets. Inside the pockets were an assortment of 69 condoms and a bottle of lube.

He put on long yellow gloves, which had a good contrast with the red and white striped sleeves, which extended down to hang loosely around his wrists. But the gloves were skintight, highlighting his long, capable fingers. For shoes, he decided on his favorite pair of boots. They were red, with black soles and long yellow shoelaces, which he tied in loopy bows. The narrow heels of the boot spread out to a long, wide toe. The boots rose just above his ankles, leaving his slender shins exposed. 

Satisfied with his outfit, Ronald moved on to do his hair and makeup. He scrubbed his face clean with gentle soap and warm water, then dried it as well as he could with a hand towel. He waited a while until the last of the moisture dried up. Then he applied a base coat of high quality, hydrating primer, allowing it to dry before moving on to the next step.

Done with his prep, he got out his face paint, sponges, and makeup brushes. He expertly applied a white base coat over his face, ears, and neck, moving the sponge in quick, short strokes.  _ Looks good _ , he thought. He then moved on to the red paint with a smaller sponge, carefully painting the area around his mouth and around the tip of his nose. Almost done. He used a small brush to outline his mouth and nose with black paint. Then he painted on high, arched eyebrows. He outlined his eyes with a small point in the center of the bottom of both of them. Lastly, he covered his face with a translucent setting powder. His makeup was on point.

To finish up the look, he teased his naturally curly crimson hair into an afro. He was very satisfied. He took a quick selfie and uploaded it to Instagram.  _ Headed out for a hot date!  _ said the caption.  _ #hot, #toosexyformyshirt, #eboy, #smurfs _ . 

Ronald checked his phone. It was 5:00. Looking up Catalie’s address, he found that it was an hour away; he had 69 minutes to spare. He poured himself a tall glass of water and deepthroated it. Just then, Ronald had a fantastically brilliant idea. He was going to make Catalie some very, very special brownies. He had just the recipe. Ronald grinned, proud of himself and his genius brain. He got right to cooking.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Ronald sped down the road on his super fast, very manly motorcycle.

“Vroom vroom, Wahoo!” he yelled, throwing some glitter up into the air. The birds in the air were chirping the rhythm of his love for Catalie. 

“Ronald and Catalie, sitting in a tree,” a bird trilled, “F-U-C-K-I-N-G!”

“Damn right!” Ronald yelled, high-fiving the bird. He revved the engine and flipped his motorcycle into the air, landing gracefully and standing up and letting go to curtsy as he sped down the street on his hot motorcycle.

All the birds around him cheered at his sick moves.

“You’re the man, Ronald McDonald!” they said. 

“Yeah, and you’re super hot,” a crow added, “Wait, but no homo, I’m not gay.” He reconsidered and added, “Not that it would be bad if I was gay, like, I’m not homophobic or anything, I’m just extremely heterosexual and don’t want anyone getting it confused. You understand, right? I’m COMPLETELY, 100% straight. Like, I’m a -10 on the Kinsey Scale, there’s no one straighter than me. What I said might have sounded gay but I’m totally not gay. Understand?”

All the birds were staring at the 100% heterosexual bird, who gulped.

“Uh… heheh,” he laughed weakly. 

Ronald wasn’t listening anymore. He zoomed forward, mind occupied by Catalie’s superb jugs. What would she be wearing? His whole body grew hot and tingly. He would see that majestic woman tonight. He would bury his face in those exquisite breasts. He would slurp those lovely nipples into his wet, expectant mouth.

Goddamn, she was so much hotter than the deceased Big Dick Ricky-kun.

He sped up to twice the speed limit; he just had to get to her house NOW. 

But then he heard sirens going off,  _ WEEEEWOOOWEEOOOOOWEEWOOOOWEEEWOOWEEEEEEWOOOWEEWOOOOWEEWOOOWEEEWOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEWOOOOWEEEEEWOOOOWEEEWOOOOWEEEWOOOOWEEEEWOOOOWEEEEWOOOOWEEEEEEWOOOOOO _ . He saw red and blue lights flashing behind him

Fuck.

“Pull over to the side of the road, sir. Pull over NOW.”

Like hell Ronald was going to pull over, not with Catalie waiting for him. Ronald ripped a massive shart, propelling him forward at the speed of sound and lifting him off the ground. 

“Uh oh. Poopy!” he sang as he sailed high above the ground towards the birds that had applauded his success in netting a hot girl. He floated among them as the legendary stream of diarrhea and trapped air gushed out of his anus. 

“Don’t worry man,” a bird chirped at him, “We’ve got this covered.”

A huge mob of birds flocked together and dove towards the cop car. The police officer screamed as the force of their impact crumpled her car in on itself.

“Ronald McDonald is a legend, you whore!” they chanted as a group of them gathered together to pull her out of the vehicle.

“No! GET AWAY FROM ME!” she screamed, desperately scrambling to get a hold on something, anything, but she was no match for the horde of birds. They hooked their talons into her, tearing into her flesh and ripping her from the vehicle, carrying her up into the air.

The woman cried, scared for her life.

“No,” she pleaded, “Spare me, please.” The birds had no sympathy for her pitiful pleas and tear stained face. The ones that were not carrying her pecked and scratched at her body, leaving bloody cuts and tears. Together, they flew her out to the ocean, which they dropped her into. As she was dropped from miles above the ocean’s surface, her body splattered on impact. Her body parts sunk deeper into the ocean, where they were eaten by a very hungry shark.

Ronald had arrived at Catalie’s house at 6:55 and loitered around her house for a few minutes before remembering he had a massive shit stain on his jumpsuit from his epic shart on the way to Catalie’s house.  _ Uh oh, poopy _ . He set the special brownies down on the ground and looked back over his shoulder to assess the damage. It was bad, but wait. Maybe Catalie would like it. He took a deep whiff of his shit covered behind. The fragrance was intoxicating. Yes, he thought. The poo poo would stay. He shivered in excitement, counting down the minutes until it was time to greet his love. He picked up his special gift and knocked on the door.

The door opened and Catalie appeared in her thicccccccc glory.

“You’we wight on time, nya,” she said, bouncing on her heels. She crooked her finger and smiled, beckoning Ronald inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Ronald entered a living room which he wasn’t looking at because his eyes were occupied taking in Catalie’s womanly body. Something was holding up her two foot long jugs so her sexy nips were pointed directly forward, directly at him. Ronal’s mouth watered. A purple crop top showed off her flat tummy. She was wearing tantalizing stockings and a miniskirt so short he was sure her asscrack was practically out in the open. Ronald’s mouth watered.

Catalie grabbed his arm, and pulled him to a cushiony sofa. 

“Sit with me,” she giggled. 

Ronald set his brownies down on the coffee table and plopped down on the sofa next to her.

“Wet me get the Meowntain Dew fow you,” Catalie says.

Ronald stared at her ass as she heads towards the kitchen. The miniskirt barely does anything to cover her gigantic, juicy buns. She’s only wearing a thong, so he can see the entirety of those succulent asscheeks, jiggling all over the place as she walks.

Ronald starts drooling, even more than he did when he met her. 

Catalie reenters the kitchen carrying two plates, two glasses, and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew. She leans into him, inhaling his presence.

“What’s that wondewful awoma, nyan?” she asks dreamily.

“It’s just my natural scent, babe,” Ronald grins. 

Catalie shares a small, beautiful smile with him before turning away to pour them some Mountain Dew, her godly melons swaying and bobbing with every move. Ronald drinks her in. His penis is as hard as a rock. 

Catalie hands him a glass filled to the brim with that tasty yellow liquid.

“Thanks, babe,” he says. They clink glasses.

“A toast,” says Catalie, “To the meowst beautiful and chawming man I’ve evew met.”

“To the gorgeous girl sitting beside me,” Ronald says. It was very smooth. “A girl with the most mouthwatering titties I’ve ever seen,” he adds.

“You weally wike them, UwU?” she asks, pushing them up so the jiggly jugs spill over her dainty hands enticingly.

“No,” says Ronald, “I love them.”

He then grabs her by the pussy.


	7. Chapter 7

“Oh, DADDY!” Catalie screams as pulses of pleasure penetrate her body, “YOUWE HAND FEEWS SO GOOD!” Catalie yeets her glass of Mountain Dew across the room. It shatters on the hardwood floor as she screams in pure ecstasy.

“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Robert sweeps everything off of the coffee table, brownies and Mountain Dew clattering to the floor as he slams Catalie onto the table, which immediately collapses under her wait, almost entirely concentrated in her ass and titties.

“Take me to the bedwoom,” Catalie begs, “I need you inside of me, Daddy.”

Ronald picks her up and throws her over his shoulder with his big, strong muscles and slaps her hard on the ass. His hand sinks six inches into her pliable flesh, which bounces right back.

“YOWEEEE, MY BUTTOCKS!” Catalie yelps, “Daddy, it stings so good!”

“Where’s the bedroom?” Ronald asks.

“Thewe, it’s ovew thewe,” Catalie points desperately. 

As Ronald carries her to her bedroom, Catalie looks down at the seat of his jumpsuit, taking in the big brown stain and the rich smell.

“Daddy,” she purrs, “Did you poo poo your pants, nyaa?”

“I did,” he said in his most sultry voice, “And I did it just for you.”

“Oh, Daddy, your goopy brown poopy smells scrumptious,” she cries as she inhales the glorious odor and starts massaging her cucumber nipples through her crop top.

Ronald throws her down onto the mattress, her bean bag sized buttocks flattening under her. Just then, Ronald is struck by an idea.

“Stay there, kitten. Daddy just thought of something.”

“Okay, fine,” Catalie says petulantly.

Ronald dashes back out into the living room and finds the bottle of Mountain Dew. Though some of it has leaked onto the floor, there’s a lot still left in the bottle. Perfect. He picks it up and bolts back to the bedroom faster than Lightning McQueen. He sets down the Mountain Dew and leaps over Catalie. His mouth crashes into hers like a semi truck yeeting itself off a cliff.

She moans, mouth opening wide for him, and their tongues meet in hot, slimy passion. Catalie’s saliva is sickly sweet like overripe cantaloupe. Ronald drinks it in like it’s ambrosia. Catalie mewls in displeasure when he finally pulls away, thick strands of spittle running down her chin, but she moans as he rips off her crop top and unclasps her bra. As he chucks it off, her breasts, big as full grown labrador retrievers, flop forward.

Catalie gasps and squirms as the cool air gently caresses her long nipples, sending shivers of pleasure down her spine.

Ronald grabs a handful of dem titties, marvelling at their size and softness. Squeezing them feels like he’s kneading a giant water balloon, but softer, warmer, squishier, heaving with her labored breathing. He gazes in awe at her areolas, the diameter of a vinyl record. Her nipples rise above them. They’re six inches long at least and as wide as a slice of pepperoni. He rolls the nipples in his fingers, then sucks one into his hungry mouth, slurping it like it’s a lollipop, pinching the other one between his fingers. His testicles ache and his penis strains against the fabric of his shit soiled underwear.

“Pwease, Daddy,” says Catalie, whimpering from the attention to her sensitive nip nops. “Pwetty pwease? I need you inside me, uwu.” 

Ronald couldn’t resist that. He pulled the skirt and then her underwear off of her, unleashing her hard, twelve inch clitoris. A river of crotch-scented crotch juice was gushing out of her little pink vajayjay. There wasn’t a pube in sight.

Ronald moaned at the sight and slowly began yanking her mega clit. Catalie let out a series of breathy, aroused moans and quivered at his touch. Just as he felt her approaching orgasm he let go. Catalie was so consumed by pleasure she was unable to protest. retrieving the bottle of Mountain Dew from the bedroom floor. 

“Alright, kitten. Be still. Daddy is gonna make you feel  _ so good _ .”

“Okay,” Catalie whimpers. 

Once again, Ronald grasps Catalie’s clit in his hand, holding it steady. Slowly and carefully, he fills her clit up to the brim with Mountain Dew. She shakes, moaning at the sensation of the cold fluid entering her. 

“Daddy,” she says shakily, then getting louder, “Give me more, I need you!”

Ronald strips himself of all clothing as fast as he can. He kneels between Catalie’s spread legs and plunges his index finger deep into her wet clitoris. The Mountain Dew splashes out of her hole as he thrusts it roughly in and out. With Catalie moaning in pleasure as he penetrates her, he slides another finger into her hot clit. 

“Aaaaaaaaaaa, DADDY,” she moans.

Ronald cums right there, spurting his creamy white semen all over her glistening clit and pussy and in a gooey puddle between her legs. The warm fire of passion burns in his belly, amplified by the cum still spewing out of him and the little streams of diarrhea still dripping down his inner thighs. His two fingers keep working as he takes Catalie in. 

Her shiny blonde hair is a mess strewn about around her head on the pillows. Her face is flushed a pretty shade of pink, and her jaw is hanging open as she pants, taking in the sensations. She rubs and pinches her nipples in time with the thrust of Ronald’s fingers. He slows down just to hear her protests, then slams in a third finger burying them all the way inside her tight hole. 

With that, Catalie screams in violent orgasm.

“Daddy uwu NYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!” 

The tight grip of the walls became a vortex, sucking Ronald into it. His whole fist is pulled into the clit vacuum, bulging inside it like it’s a rat that’s just been swallowed by a snake. His forearm is sucked inside her like John Cena is inside, pulling with all his might. Ronald watches as the bulge of his fist hits the base of her clit, thinking it’s ended, but it just keeps going. Ronald’s arm dislocates from his shoulder as Catalie’s greedy clit swallows it up, penis going completely limp. 

Ronald screams at the immense pain of his torn up shoulder being sucked into Catalie’s body as Catalie is still screaming with the endorphin high of her intense orgasm.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Ronald screams as his shoulder crumples up and he’s pulled into Catalie’s clit up to his neck, bleeding from his chest. Ronald sheds his final tears, crying like a baby before the hungry clitoris crushes his head into a bloody pulp, much like what you’d get if you chucked a watermelon off the roof of a skyscraper.

In one more gulp, the rest of Ronald is swallowed up into Catalie’s body. Her belly swells as it fills with Ronald’s crumpled remains. She lets out a loud, wet belch as her body digests her meal. She rubs her hands over her full, swollen belly, lying back in bed. She drifts off into a post-meal nap, the last of the Mountain Dew and pussy mucus draining out of her.


	8. Chapter 8

Catalie wakes up the next day full and well rested. Well, Catalie isn’t her real name.

Her real name is Iphisynore Xisiana Mhyreli, Amorphous and Multidimensional Consumer of All that is Phallic, but her friends with less patience for long, formal titles just called her Ix, which was not, in fact, the initials of her first two names pronounced phonetically, but a more cutesy way to say the roman numerals for 9, her birth order in her particular litter.

“Well,” she says, ‘It’s time to get out of this old skin.” Despite the longer than expected stay in this particular skin suit, Ix’ mood was bright and sunshiny. Last evening had been lovely and her sleep had been deep and refreshing. And of course she was relieved to be finished with her stay in this itchy human costume. Her stay in it had lasted longer than usual as she had to track down and murder the old man who’d ran from her. She’d been lucky to run into another mark so quickly after that.

Ix’ claws tore open the pads of the skin’s fingers. They were gunmetal gray, long, and very, very sharp. Beginning at her face, she shredded the skin that had been covering her true body for the past week. The weak human skin fell off of her in mangled strips of gorey flesh. The oversized titties and buttocks popped like helium balloons. Scraping off the last stubborn bits of flesh, Ix headed to the bathroom to clean herself of the blood and the musky scent of sex.

The warm water felt wonderful on her bare breasts. She ran her hands over her firm tatas. She shampooed and conditioned her long, luxurious hair. She poured body wash onto her hands and rubbed it all over her body, lingering on her most sensitive spots, her body tingling as the spray of water washed it away. She emerged from the shower clean, hydrated, and dripping wet. She took the soft towel from the towel rack and dried herself off.

Ix stared at her reflection in the full length mirror. She was tall and slender at 5’9'' and 111 pounds. Her skin was a thick, shiny dark purple. She had a striking face with large, dark gray eyes set in her beautiful, heart shaped face. She had a cute, upturned nose and full, plush lips. Her thick, wavy black hair cascaded down her back. Her long, slender neck led to narrow, feminine shoulders. Her arms were slim, but toned and strong. Her hands were small with long, delicate fingers tipped with retractable claws. Her thin ribcage tapered into a tiny waist, though her stomach swelled with what was left of Ronald McDonald. Her hips swelled out into a perfect hourglass figure with a round, firm butt. Her legs were long and toned, with just a little bit of meat on them. A modest clit hung from her groin. She moves out of the way to admire her puffy, enticing pussy lips. Her long tail extends behind her, tipped with another gunmetal gray spike. A pair of large, leathery purple wings extend out of her back.

Despite her small frame, Ix had a perfect set of firm DDs with just a bit of bounce. Nip nips the size and sharpness of rapiers jutted proudly from her chest. She could impale anyone with one simple thrust of her tits.

Ix admired her sexy body in the mirror, knowing that even in this form, her radiant, womanly presence could seduce anyone of any gender. But even still, Ix was a shapeshifter. She could construct skins and live inside them. She could push and pull and stretch and compact and contort any part of herself. And she could teleport between dimensions in an instant. Anything was possible. No one was safe. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ix puts on her skintight leather bodysuit, high heeled leather gladiator boots, and spiky black bracelets. She doesn’t have any assignments, so she figures she’ll go to Hell for a bit. Or maybe she’ll stay for a bit to get herself off… 

No, she should go back to Hell. Maybe see her mom. Mommy’s thighs could effortlessly crush Ix’ succubus skull quicker than Ix’ clit could Ronald’s puny human one. The thought of it made her wet every time.

It’s decided. She picks up her black leather bag.

“So long, SUCKERS!”

Ix powerfully jumps off the ground, crashes through the roof, and yeets herself into another dimension, landing gracefully on her feet just inside Hell’s gates. 

She’s home.

Ix jumps back up again, flying toward her mom’s castle. Satan, the Devouring Mother. This was the being that had pushed Ix out of her hooha centuries ago. 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” a screaming, on fire head whizzes past her shoulder.

“Shut up, KAREN,” Ix snarls at it.

Fucking dismembered heads. 

And not in the good way.

Ix darted through the air, glorious nipples waving with the slight bounce of her hefty bazongas. She looked like a sexy badass girl woman boss bitch.

Only a little later, she landed outside her mother’s place and knocked on the door, hoping she wasn’t too busy.


	10. Chapter 10

“Oh, Ixy, darling,” Satan, the Devouring Mother said as she opened the door. “Cum in, sweetie.” She smiled at her little girl. Only a few centuries old, but grown into a shmexy young lady with tig ol’ biddies. For a succubus, that is.

Ix, smiling from ear to ear, walked into her mother’s embrace, and was almost crushed by her luscious meat globes. The embrace felt so warm and good. Ix felt a stirring in her nether regions. Her mom’s hands run over her back under her wings. She pulls away and it makes Ix feel vewy sad.

“Ix,” Satan says, putting her fingers under Ix’s chin and pushing it up to gaze deeply into her eyes..

“I’m planning on retiring soon.”

A wave of different and confusing emotions flood Ix.

“Why?” she asked, “Where are you going?”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry, Ix,” she said, “I’ll vacation in Antarctica, slaughter some polar bears, you know…” 

“Okay, but… When?” asked Ix.

“As soon as possible,” says Satan, “But I’ll need someone to succeed me. And I want that someone to be you.” 

“What? Really?” Ix meets her mother’s gaze with her sexy red eyes, blushing from the intensity.

“How? I’m not nearly as powerful as you are.” Her mom was seven feet tall. She had bewbz like yoga balls and nips as long as a kayak, from which she could shoot fireballs. The definition of her thicc, muscular thighs was clearly visible under her skintight leather jumpsuit. 

“I need to transfer my power to you,” Satan says, “By filling your every orifice with my mommy dick milk.”

Ix’ jaw dropped.


	11. Chapter 11

“Oh, Mommy, Do it, PLEASE!” Satan scoops her up using only her massive tatas. 

Ix nearly undies with the sensation of being wrapped up in that supple boobie flesh. 

“Ahhhhhh, aaaAAAAAAAAhhHHH!” Ix gets so hot and flustered and starts licking up the sweat from Mommy’s titty crack. Her skin temperature is 420℃, which is very hot, because Ix is very aroused, and she’s riding in between her mom’s rockin’ boobies.

With a hefty yeet, Ix is flung from her mom’s titties onto the bed and Satan leaps on top of her, knockers a flyin’. With a pop, she retracts her long nippy naps so they don’t hurt Ix. 

“Oooooooooooooooooooooo,” she moans, as the retraction stimulates her inner boobs. 

Ix gazes up at her mother lustfully, breathing in her pheromones. Slowly, Satan unzips her jumpsuit, her billowing chest lumps wobbling and jiggling, showing how happy she is that she’s about to fuck her daughter in all of her tight little holes. 

She tears the jumpsuit the rest of the way off, revealing her buoyant tush and her  _ meaty cock _ . Satan’s trouser snake is fully erect, an impressive two feet long and four inches in diameter. It juts straight forward at the perfect angle. Its head glistens in the light with beads of sweat. A shmexy aroma permeates the air.

Ronald McDonald’s penis, the last part of him still intact and undigested in Ix’ belly, becomes erect and jizzes blood inside of her as her stomach acid finally begins to eat away at it.

Satan’s clitty, a solid twelve inches, sticks out below her phenomenal pleasure rod. Her thick, symmetrical meat curtains frame her aroused love tunnel, thick, honey scented cunt juice dripping out of it onto the Star Wars bed sheets. Yoda, Anakin, and Chewbacca make O faces as they get drenched in Satan’s pussy nectar.

Ix’ hooters tear through her clothing automatically at the sight of her naked mommy. The shredded leather flies across the room, leaving Ix’ body bare in front of her mom’s lusty eyes. Ix is too turned on to feel embarrassed by her clearly inferior clit and cleavage.

Satan drinks in Ix’ sexy bod. 

“Mmmmmmmmmm, you’re so hawt,” Satan whispers in Ix’ ear, gyrating her wet cooter atop hers. Ix whimpers in response. 

“Your sweet little face, your cute lil’ bewbies,” Satan moans, their pussy lips making out with each other, exchanging woman slime, making Ix gasp with each thrust. 

Satan throws her head back and starts firmly stroking her massive cock

Suddenly, Satan stops grinding on Ix and Ix nearly screams in dissatisfaction at the loss of her mom’s thrusting. 

“Ix,” she says, voice low and rumbly like a motorboat, “Are you ready for my penis?”


	12. Chapter 12

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Ix moans.

With Ix’ enthusiastic consent, Satan plunges her weiner deep into Ix’ coochie. 

“YAAASSS, MOMMY, YAAAAASSSSSSSSS!” Ix moans as Satan’s thicc wang slams her little cervix. The magnificent wang has stretched Ix’ canal as far as it can go, but it’s still only halfway in. Satan rocks into Ix, making her shiver with the yummy pressure applied to her tight little cervix. 

“Ix,” says Satan, “I need to go  _ deeper _ .”

“Do it, Mommy! DO IT!” Ix cries.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Ix screams at each of Satan’s slams into her. On the third thrust, Satan’s shaft bursts through her cervix, penetrating Ix’ uterus. Ix’ orgasm rips through her sexy little body. Satan thrusts in and out several more times, slamming herself all the way in with each contraction of Ix’ vagina. She can see the outline of her massive dick ramming in and out of Ix’ abdomen and stretching out her uterus.

Satan makes one final thrust and unloads her cummies directly into Ix’ uterus. She pants, staying inside of Ix until they’ve both come down from their orgasms. When she withdraws her penis from her daughter, she smiles, noting the three inches her massive load had added to her little girl’s waistline.

“Mommy, I want MORE,” Ix whimpers, desperate for another taste of Satan’s flesh banana. 

“Don’t worry, darling. It’s coming,” Satan reassured her, schlong snapping back to attention looking at Ix’ drooling orgasm face. 

She would have to cum many more times to complete the ritual.


	13. Chapter 13

“Ah! Mommy!” Ix cried out in surprise when Satan flipped her over onto her stomach. 

“Oh!” she gasped as Satan ran a thumb over her little anus. 

“Get on your knees,” said Satan, smacking her hard on the bum bum. Ix did, pulling herself up onto her knees and clinging onto the bed sheets.

“Are we that exciting to you?” Ix teased the little Star Wars people frantically wanking on the soft fabric. They were too blissed out to answer her, but a little R2D2, nodded in affirmation. 

“Ooooooooooo,” Ix cooed. 

Satan had slipped her hand up Ix’ hoochie, covering it with her sexy fluids. She rubbed her other hand over her vulva, getting it nice and covered with her own sticky stuff. Satan retracted her hand from Ix’ vajayjay and began masturbating her thick cucumber, getting it all lubed up with a delicious combination of Ix’ and her own lady juices as well as Satan’s creamy dick milk. Her anaconda was sopping wet and aching to get inside of Ix once again.

She could wait just a little bit longer. Satan pushed a finger into Ix’ butt and wiggled it around in there so that she could later fit her enormous penis in there. Ix let out encouraging little moans and noises.

“Oh, Mommy, it feels so good inside me,” she squealed. Satan groaned and her pecker trembled with need. 

She inserted a second finger into Ix’ wriggling ass and started slowly thrusting them in and out of her. She slapped Ix’ clit and she orgasmed. Satan could feel it in her body as she squiggled her fingers around inside of her. Ix was panting and moaning, gripping the bed sheets hard, still thrusting her ass back onto Satan.

“Mommy, it isn’t enough,” she whined needily, “I need you to fill me up with your dick.” Satan couldn’t handle it anymore. She pulled out her fingers and jammed her wet flesh banana into Ix’ little poophole. 

Ix shook with another orgasm as Satan’s cocker spaniel slid all the way into her. She clenches around Satan’s dong, but it isn’t enough to get her off. Satan grasps Ix by the hips and repeatedly slams into her tight intestinal tract. It feels great around her.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,” Satan moans.

Ix shrieks happily and bucks her hips back as Satan thrusts into her. Her penis is wetly rubbing just right inside of her. 

Without warning, Satan pumps her full of another river of cum, her grip on her hips intensifying. The eruption of cum spurting up and into her intestines does it for Ix. She orgasms again from Satan’s big dick and scrumptious cock juice. It is scrumptious. Ix can taste it through her pussy and ass muscles. The exquisite flavor is indescribable.

The delicious taste and stretching sensation send explosions of ecstasy through Ix’ body. She’s never orgasmed harder than this and she still wants more.

Satan pants, spent. No one else has ever turned her on so much in her life. She stays buried inside of Ix for a couple of minutes as her wang softens. Her breath is hot on her neck. 

But the ritual is far from over. Ix still has plenty of holes in need of filling and a limitless supply of semen flows from Satan’s taut little testicles.


	14. Chapter 14

When Satan slides her joystick out of Ix, so much cum spills out that it saturates the bedding, mattress, and carpet beneath. The slick sticky stuff smells sweet and good. 

Ix collapses and rolls over onto her side. She nuzzles her nose down to breath in Satan’s yummy cummies. Satan gently strokes her back. She’s so adorable there.

“We’re not done with the ritual,” Satan says.

“Oh, I know,” Ix says, catching her breath and sitting back up. She climbs onto her mother’s lap and presses their mouths together in a gentle kiss. She runs her fingers through Satan’s lustrous hair. Their breasts greet each other in a soft caress. It’s all soft, pliable flesh as the nipples have been safely tucked away. The jiggling melons dance with each other below Ix and Satan’s dancing tongues. They squish around together as if the four boobies had melded together into one. Nay, as if they had always been the individual components of a single, marvelous, tit.

Satan gently guides Ix back down onto the cum soaked pillows. She cups her face in her hands.

“I love you,” she says, smiling at her precious daughter.

“I love you too, Mommy,” Ix says, gazing up in adoration and post-orgasmic bliss. 

Satan kisses Ix all over her face. Ix smiles and laughs and sighs contentedly at the display of affection. They continue slowly like this for a good ten minutes.

Then, Satan gently prods Ix’ right eyeball with her tongue. Ix softly moans. Satan swipes her tongue over Ix’ eye again. Ix shivers at the delightful sensation.

Satan quickens her pace slobbering all over Ix’ squishy eye socket. She teases her by running her tongue all along the edges of Ix’ eyelids several times, each time getting firmer and faster. 

Satan thrusts her tongue through the space between Ix’ eyeball and her bottom eyelid and she’s rapidly tongue-fucking Ix’ eye socket. Ix had never experienced this form of intimate penetration before, but she can’t go back now that she has. She starts playing with her clit as Satan continues running the tip of her tongue along the back of her eye socket. Ix moans, massaging the base of her clit with her index finger.

Suddenly, Satan positions two of her fingers outside of Ix’ nostrils and slowly pushes them in. The sensation of fullness is so good. Ix stops touching herself and revels in the feeling of being penetrated by her mom’s tongue and fingers. With one more slurp of Satan’s tongue inside her eye, Ix climaxes from Satan’s expert maneuvering of her tongue in her eye, heightened by Satan’s fingers stretching out her nostrils. 

Ix thrusts into nothing as she gushes vagina juice and moans. Satan gives her one final suck before removing her mouth and fingers to kneel over Ix’ bright orgasm face. She groans and starts yanking her meat stick while looking at Ix until she spurts cum all over her face.

“MMMmmmmmmm,” Ix rumbles, licking up the semen around her lips.

“Hold still, Ixy,” Satan says. Satan massages her cum into Ix’ face. She pushes it down into Ix’ eye sockets and up her nostrils. She massages it into her ear canals. She gets some on her pinkie finger and inserts it into Ix’ urethra. Ix hums blissfully the whole time.

“There’s only one step left, Ix,” she says, “I need you to suck my dick.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Will I see you again after this,?” Ix asks, tears in her eyes. 

“Don’t worry, honey, you will,” Satan says. “I won’t look the same, but I’ll visit again in a century or so.”

Okay. Ix nods. Not too long in the grand scheme of things. And she NEEDS to feel Satan’s pee-pee in her mouth. 

Satan lines her already-hard-again dick up with Ix’ pretty lips. And she holds it there, dangling in the air in front of Ix. Ix stares at it, drooling. 

“Pwease, Mommy,” she says, “Fuck my throat with your juicy pleasure zucchini!” Ix tilts her head back and promptly dislocates her jaw like a baby bird waiting for its meal.

Satan slams her erect weewee straight down Ix’ esophagus. Ix’ body rumbles in pleasure as she is filled with Mommy’s special meat. 

“Ahh, SUCK me,” Satan moans as she pushes in and pulls out of Ix’ throat. Satan’s penis stimulates Ix’ sensitive ovaries as she begins thrusting in and out of Ix’ throat, making Ix moan with pleasure. Satan adjusts her thrusting so she’s hitting Ix’ ovaries with each thrust. Ix’ throat spasms with each jolt of pleasure so they’re both groaning and sweating.

They orgasm at exactly the same time.

At that moment, as an infinite volume of cum is launched down Ix’ throat and an infinite amount of pleasure overtakes them both, their bodies split into an infinite number of particles and begin rearranging themselves. Everything around them disappears and is still. For a moment it is very, very still. And then Ix awakens on the floor alone.


	16. Chapter 16

Ix, the new queen of hell, lovingly caresses her tummy. Her eggys were in her impregnated uterus. She was incubating her own first litter of succubi. She had achieved this by slinging her own ding-a-ling back into her cunt and spewing spermies into her canal. She couldn’t manage to penetrate her cervix like Mommy could.

Yet.

That had been her first priority as the new Satan, but her second priority was just as, if not more, important. Satan was going to track down the author of this very piece of erotica. And once she did…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She’d have to give them a fucking award for their creativity, compelling plot and characterization, and realistic depictions of female anatomy.


	17. Epilogue

The late Ronald McDonald’s landlord sighs as he takes in the dried puddles of cum on the walls, floor, and ceiling, pressing his hands to his temples.

But he can’t deny the stirring in his loins as he takes in the sight of his clown tenant’s drying cum. 

_ Nobody would notice, Ronald hasn’t been home for days. _

Ronald’s landlord whips out his pathetic little two millimeter microdick and starts jerking it to the thought of rubbing his teeny tiny little dick between Ronald’s sexy asscheeks. 

He ejaculates a tiny little drop of semen and then he goes home and eats his own shit because that’s what landlords do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who's up for a metaphysical game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos?
> 
> [Click here if YOU think Ronald is Daddy.](https://discord.gg/dh6w3jbceZ)


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